Results tagged ‘ yurt ’

Housing Wanted: Yankees Center Fielder Seeks Suitable Residence – ASAP

Brett Gardner doesn’t have time to celebrate his new job as the Yankees starting center fielder.

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He needs a place to live. Now. The team is about to break camp and head north, and Gardner told the beat writers: “I haven’t started looking for housing in New York yet, but I have no intention of living in the same New Jersey extended stay hotel I used last year.”
Well, all right then, Gardy. So where are you planning to put yourself? You’re a hayseed from Holly Hill, South Carolina, and you don’t know squat about New York. Do you honestly think you can just close your eyes, point to a spot on a map of the Tri-State area and go, “I’ll move there?”
Of course not. You’re not making Jeter/A-Rod money, and you don’t have a 10-year contract. Your options aren’t limitless. You need guidance. Fortunately, She-Fan is at your service.
So…..Some choices.
You can be very conservative and simply rent a room in the house of a family whose little boy has grown up and gone away to college.
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Or maybe you’d prefer a more fraternity-like atmosphere.
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If so, we could probably move you into the same New Jersey condominium as them.
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Oh. You’re married with a young son and you’re moving them to New York. Right. What about a two-bedroom/two bath apartment in a Manhattan high-rise for the three of you?
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There are so many neighborhoods we could consider, since Manhattan is such a mixed bag.
We could find you something on the Upper East Side surrounded by types like them.
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Or you might enjoy the Meat Packing District where you’d very likely run into them.
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And there’s always the Chelsea neighborhood where you’d probably run into them.
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O.K. You don’t want to be in the city. You’d rather find something that reminds you of home. How about a sweet little farmhouse in a bucolic area of Connecticut?
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Your son is allergic to cows?
Fine. Let’s do a waterfront condo in Westchester.
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Your wife is afraid of the water?
Sorry, I don’t understand. You want to live where? What’s a yurt?
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Tell you what, Gardy. Find your own tent. No, I’m not mad at all. It’s your life. Just promise you’ll show up here next week and we’re good.
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