Having been charged with drunken driving several months ago, as well as being in possession of an open container of alcohol, Joba Chamberlain postponed his hearing four times. But immediately after the Yankees’ 6-3 win over the Reds, he finally flew to Nebraska for his arraignment. As he left George M. Steinbrenner Field he breathed a sigh of relief that he would learn his punishment at last.
He has told the Yankees how sorry he is for the events of that fateful night, and pledged to drink more responsibly than he used to.
And lately he’s been more associated with breakfast food than champagne parties.
But the time has come. The courtroom awaits. The law is the law.
Since he’s a first-time offender, he could get off with a slap on the wrist (or someplace else).
Or the judge could make him cool his heels in the slammer for a night or two.
My guess is he’s looking at community service, which could be performed by speaking to kids about the dangers of drinking and driving…
or maybe by feeding the homeless.
I suppose the term “community service” could be applied more loosely; perhaps Joba could pay his debt to society by coming to Santa Barbara and helping me out.
Let me count the ways.
1) He could do our yard work.
2) He could do our grocery shopping.
3) He could fix our leaky sink.
4) He could cook our meals.
5) He could fill in for our cleaning lady, who comes on Mondays but is currently visiting her family in Mexico.
6) He could keep my husband company watching “Jeopardy.”
7) And he could take over the writing of my blog.
Here’s hoping the judge is reading this post right now and considering all the points I’ve made.
May justice be served.