Results tagged ‘ Confessions of a She-Fan ’

My Very Own Commercial – Watch!

The truth is, my goal in life wasn’t to star in an ad. I didn’t dream of selling bone density medicine like her…
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Marie Osmond_01.JPGor life insurance like her.
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And as much as I love to dance, I never imagined myself pitching American Express like her.

But the reality of the publishing world is that you can’t just write a book and cross your fingers that the buyers at Amazon and Barnes & Noble will order copies for their customers; you have to entertain them so they’ll be dying to stock your book.
And so I made a video trailer for Confessions of a She-Fan – sort of like a movie trailer only without the actors. What I’m saying is that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Furthermore, it was 1,000 degrees in the studio the day we shot the video, and I nearly passed out. Good thing it’s only three minutes long.
Since the trailer has now been distributed to Yahoo, Google, MSN, YouTube and every other “portal,” I figured it was time to debut it here. The company that produced it, Expanded Books, tagged it: “Yankee-holic Hits Bottom.” That pretty much says it all.



Yankees Invite Me To Spring Training!

O.K., so my name wasn’t on the list of the 20 non-roster invitees announced today, and it wasn’t exactly the Yankees that invited me to Tampa. It was Barnes & Noble.

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But still. I’m going to spring training, which is no small thing. I’ll be signing copies of my book between trips to Steinbrenner Field, so if anybody will be in the Tampa area on Friday, March 6th at 1 p.m., please stop by the Carrollwood store and say hi. I mean it. Come. It’s humiliating to sit there all by yourself like a kid with a lemonade stand.
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This nice author is putting on a brave face, but inside she’s dying, trust me. What I’d really like to see is something more like this.
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A line, right. Just to get inside the store.
In fact, it would be gratifying if there was such a huge, unruly crowd that we needed help keeping the peace.
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With reinforcements.
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I’ll also be at the game that night (Yankees host the Tigers), and can’t wait to get my first look at CC, AJ and Tex in their Yankees uniforms.
As for those 20 non-roster invitees, which include everyone from the DFA’d Shelley Duncan to the well-traveled Angel Berroa, I was thinking….since the Yankees seem to be so democratic about the process….maybe they’d invite one more person? 
No, of course I’m not suggesting that I try out for the team. I stink at baseball. Tennis has been my game, and all I dreamed about growing up was playing like her.
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I was just wondering if I could sneak onto the field and take batting practice. It’s not totally unheard of.
Posh Spice did it.
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She even tossed the ball around.
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(Talk about throwing like a girl.)
Maybe they’d let me catch for an inning or two.
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Or steal a base.
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On second thought, I’d probably get in the way and cause something like this to happen.
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And the truth is, I’m more interested in hanging out with the players than being in the middle of a melee.
Will I find someone to hang out with?
Maybe?
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Yeah, that’s me. And him. But we’re just friends.

Mark Teixeira’s Press Conference – Before It Happens

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The newest Yankee won’t be introduced to the media until 1 p.m. Eastern, but I already know the drill.
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A Yankees person, probably media relations director Jason Zillo, will present Mrs. Teixeira – Leigh – with a dozen long-stemmed roses. 
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(She’s the brunette.)
Cashman will gush about Tex while looking oddly detached.
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Hal will be present but not say a word.
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Girardi will drape Tex in his new pinstriped jersey.
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Tex will model the jersey and try not to be blinded by all the flashbulbs.
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And now the Q&A. Here’s how I think it will go.
“Hey, Mark. Pete Abraham from the Journal News. How does it feel to be a Yankee?”
“Incredible. I’m still pinching myself. I grew up idolizing Don Mattingly, so I always wanted to play for the Yankees.”
“Hi, Mark. Tyler Kepner from the New York Times. You turned down a substantial offer from the Red Sox. Was there some bad feeling on your part from your dealings with them in the past?”
“Not at all. Not at all. They’re a great organization. I have nothing but respect for them and I’m looking forward to being part of the awesome rivalry.”
“Hey, Mark. Mark Feinsand from the Daily News. You’re from the DC/Baltimore area. Did you give serious thought to playing in front of a home crowd with either the O’s or the Nationals?”
“I did, but the Yankees are winners, with so much history and tradition. I want to help us win more championships.”
“George King. New York Post. Talk about the pressure of playing in New York, Mark. The big contract. The new stadium. A crowd of 55,000 people booing you if you get off to a slow start. Any of that worry you?”
“I put more pressure on myself than anyone else could ever put on me. So no. I’m not worried. From what I’ve seen, Yankee fans are the best fans in baseball.”
“George King with a follow up. A source told me you and Alex Rodriquez hate each other’s guts from your Texas Rangers days. True?”
“Um, I don’t know where that rumor came from. I have tremendous respect for Alex and the way he plays the game. I’m really looking forward to being his teammate.”
“George King again. Another source told me you read books in your spare time. That’s kind of weird for a ballplayer.”
“I don’t read books. I hunt and fish and hit golf balls. No books.”
“Then what about this poster?”
George holds up the evidence for everyone to see.
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There’s an audible gasp in the room. More flashbulbs. Mark is caught in his first lie as a Yankee.
“O.K. So I read one stupid book before it even came out. It was right after I signed with the Yankees. I wanted to find out what the fans here are really like.”
“Hello, Mark. John Sterling, the voice of the Yankees on WCBS. Was the book Jane Heller’s ‘Confessions of a She-Fan,’ by any chance? I heard I’m the hero of it.”
“Yeah, that’s it. You’re not the hero, but you have a bunch of scenes. Like that dinner where you let her try on your World Series rings. Oh, and when you said you never ever go to the bathroom during the games. LOL, John. Seriously.”
Jason Zillo steps to the podium. “Thanks, everybody. That’s all for today.”

You’re Invited – Save the Date!

Hey, are you busy on Saturday, February 28th from 3-5 p.m.?

If not, I’m having a party and I want you to come. It’s a “Take Me Out to the Book Launch” event to celebrate the publication of this
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and to ring in the ’09 baseball season.
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(See? I’m in such a festive mood I let the Red Sox win that one.)
The bad news? The party is in Santa Barbara. The good news? There’s gonna be free beer!
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And not just any beer. Our host is the Hollister Brewing Company.
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They’re not only providing their great micro-brewed beers, but they’re creating a special beer named after the book. (I think they’re calling it the She-Fan Stout. :)
And what goes with baseball and beer? You guessed it.
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They’ll also be serving their famous sliders
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and chicken wings
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and pulled pork sandwich. Yum.
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Isn’t all that worth a plane trip? A train ticket? A little drive?
Co-sponsored by our great local newspaper
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the party will feature possible guest appearances by the coach of the Independent League champions, the Santa Barbara Foresters, as well as some of the players.
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Check out how many Foresters went on to play in the majors. It’s quite a list.
We’ll have entertainment on the big screen TVs
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and autographed books for sale.
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And don’t worry about making conversation or mixing in with my friends.
There will be plenty of interesting people to hang out with.
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O.K., then just come for the beer.

Rocking the Vote

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The Yankees blog, “Was Watching,” has posted a survey asking which other Yankees blogs people read.
O.K., so maybe you’re not a Yankee fan. I get that. But you visit this blog every now and then, right? So how about doing your civic duty and checking the box next to the name “Confessions of a She-Fan.”
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(I have no idea why I’m outlined in turquoise. Please don’t hold that against me.)
It’s not a contest. I won’t win anything, I promise. Not a microwave. Not a toaster oven. Not even a quart of milk. In fact, I probably won’t make it into the top 50. My blog hasn’t been around long enough and I don’t write about things like slugging percentages, plus the big boys on the blogosphere are way more popular. But it would be fun to be a tiny blip on the radar screen.
If you feel so inclined, go here.
If not?
Get. Off. My. Lawn.
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Update: “Was Watching” had a technical glitch and they’re doing a recount (shades of the 2000 presidential election). Here’s the new link to the survey if anyone hasn’t been sufficiently annoyed by this already.

Update 2.0: “Was Watching” cancelled the survey. Apparently, people voted more than once and tried to beat the system! We are a truly corrupt society. What a surprise.

Live Video Was a Blast – Watch!

Since there was no Yankees baseball today, I couldn’t have picked a better time to drive down to LA for the Live Video show. The host who moderated, interviewed me and fielded the emails that came in during the hour we were live was Russell Wetanson, a legal/pop culture expert who appears frequently on CNN, E! and the TV Guide Network. He was funny and kept the conversation lively. We previewed “Confessions of a She-Fan” and had people emailing from as far away as Japan saying they couldn’t wait to read the book. It was cool! We had an email from a distraught Cardinals fan. We had an email from a gloating Angels fan. And we had an email from MLB’s very own blogger, Vanessa (see the Flair for the Dramatic link on my blog roll). It was like a visit from a family member!

Russell asked me if most fans are as obsessive as I am. I laughed and said, “Uh, no. ‘Fan’ is short for ‘fanatic.’ We’re all a little crazy.” Sure, I’m a little over the top when it comes to my passion/partisanship for the Yankees, sad as they may look this season, but I’m hardly alone. All the Yankees blogs are evidence of that. So are the 55,000 people who show up at the Stadium every night, win or lose. We also talked about my trip to all the games last season, the food at the different ballparks (I recommended Boog’s BBQ at Camden Yards and someone emailed in to say she agreed), and the hilarious (and humiliating) times when I tried to meet the players.
If you have time, go here. Scroll down to the left corner and click “archives,” and you’ll see portions of the interview. The link is only up for a week or so.
Now let’s hope the Yankees give us a memorable homestand starting tomorrow night. I want them to go down fighting as they bid farewell to the Stadium. They need to show up and make us proud!

Talk to Me on Live Video

Tomorrow (9/11) at 2 pm Eastern Time/11 am Pacific, I’ll be sitting in a studio in Hollywood, courtesy of the folks at Live Video (the parent company is Live Universe, owned by one of the founders of MySpace). I’ll be streaming my way onto your computers for an hour, during which I’ll be interviewed by a host, giving a sneak preview of my book “Confessions of a She-Fan” and answering questions from people who email me. It’ll be sort of like YouTube only you can talk to me in real time. So if you’ve got a sec, go to http://www.livevideo.com, their home page, and sign up as a user. Then you’ll be all set to send questions tomorrow. 

Oh, come on. Sign up. It’ll be fun commiserating about the Yankees!
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