What Do We Really Know About John Lackey?

Angels_Lackey.jpg

Yes, he’ll be the Angels’ Game 1 starter against the Yankees on Friday night. And yes, he’s been on the Angels for his entire big league career, although where he ends up after this season is anybody’s guess. And yes, he’s the guy the Yanks need to crush in order to establish their dominance. But who IS John Lackey and how do we get him to look all frustrated and beaten down like this?
john-lackey-ejection.JPG.jpeg
Let’s start with the Merriam-Webster Dictionary and look up the word “Lackey.”
Main Entry: 1lack·ey 
Pronunciation: \ˈla-kē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural lackeys
Etymology: Middle French laquais
Date: 1523

1 a : footman 2, servant b : someone who
does menial tasks or runs errands for another
2 : a servile follower : toad

According to the last definition, John Lackey is a toad.
toad-picture.jpg
Oh, I kid. John Derran Lackey is a very good pitcher. He’s a big pitcher, too. His 6′ 6″ frame prompted Angels broadcaster Rex Hudler to give him the nickname “Big John.” Do you think the name came to Rex in a lightning bolt in the middle of the night? Talk about creative.
RHudler.jpg
Lackey was born in Abilene, Texas on October 23rd, 1978. That makes him a Scorpio.
1scorpio.0.gif
According to astrology guru Susan Miller, here’s what Lackey can look forward to as the month moves along:
If you need to lease a new apartment, sell your coffee table, get a more attractive bid from a contractor to do over your kitchen, or do any other property-related plan, you can expect to see progress at long last.”
Whew. I don’t see anything in there about winning the ALCS, do you? If Lackey wants to sell his coffee table and buy a new one, I say he should go for it. And maybe he should buy a new coffee table book while he’s at it.
yanks.coffee.table_.jpg
Some people say Lackey has had trouble keeping his emotions in check on the mound. Like when a player behind him makes an error. Supposedly, he gets all huffy and throws one of these.
And then there was his debut this season on May 16th against Texas. He had just come off the DL and Ian Kinsler was his first batter. He threw two pitches to Kinsler – one sailed behind his head and the other hit him – and was promptly ejected. Way to go!
But again. I kid. He’s a great pitcher. There’s just one more thing I need to point out about him: his voice. Take a listen and tell me he doesn’t sound like Ray Romano with a Texas twang.
See you Friday night in the Bronx, Big John. We’re ready for you.
John Lackey.jpg

30 Comments

Great blog, AGAIN. He must have stolen Ray Romano’s voice, Jane. I kept anticipating a funny joke coming from him. Maybe we should get Robert to call him a name or do something annoying? Thanks for the morning chuckle! -Ellen

Lackey looked very dominant against the Red Sox. Hopefully, the Yanks can get to him and set up CC for the win in Game 1. I fully expect the ALCS to go 7 games. I don’t see a sweep for either team. I suspect that Brett Gardner will be getting his jersey dirty. Somehow, the Yanks need to get Damon going. I think he is going to be one of the keys for the series.

Scott
http://fotr.mlblogs.com

Did you intentionally find the very WORST picture of the guy available? He’s having a breakout, his teeth look gnarly and he’s sweating. Good grief.
http://www.paullebowitz.com/
http://princeofny.blogspot.com/

Oh, and you shouldn’t mess with Scorpios. I know because I’m one myself.

It always surprises me how even really intelligent people tend to believe in that astrology stuff. You know it’s a total crackpot, right? LOL. Ah… Lackey. Dude is ugly, his stuff is nasty. Watch out!
–Jeff
http://redstatebluestate.mlblogs.com/
http://mtrredstatebluestate.com

Jane, I just found you yesterday, now that I have an extra three hours a day to search the web for Yankee stuff. I remember reading your articles in the NYT but I didn’t realize you had a blog. You are hilarious though today’s entry didn’t make me feel any better. And Lackey was funny, saying he only had one ab. I can guess he’s going to take lots of years off after baseball.

I live in Colorado and so relate to being removed from the action. We moved here in 1998 and back then all I could get was the bottom line on Sportscenter. I’ve been welling up all the time, thinking that this might be the year. I thought about going to NY for the games but I just got done with the Rockie playoffs and you may have heard how that went. If that had been the Yankees I might have slit my throat (just kidding). BTW, the Phillies can’t beat our guys, but they will loose to Grandpa Joe (he is looking old) anyway.

I am thinking the parade though. Any she-fans want to travel with me?

A Texas Toad with Ray Romano’s voice…LUV IT! Only YOU could come up with that…brilliant again!! And Rex Hudler…wasn’t he a Yankee for a New York Minute? Not to mention an Oriole, and an Expo? And not particularly good anywhere? Ah, nevermind. Lots of thoughts to bounce around with all this free time…we’re about to get hammered with rain & cold here in the mid-Atlantic, so I do wonder about NY, and what that will do… and I agree that Johnny D could be a Big Factor, mostly due to where he bats (lately he’s been that automatic out between Jeet and Tex)…some change would help, thank you. Just go git ‘em!!

Ellen, it was weird. I found that video of Lackey and kept thinking he sounded like someone familiar. And then it came to me: Ray Romano. I asked my husband, “Who does this sound like?” And he said, “Ray Romano.” So I knew I wasn’t that far off the mark!

I agree that Damon needs to get going, Scott. As you probably read on LoHud, he took the extra workout so he knows he’s got to do better in that #2 spot. He’s key to our success, especially at home where Damon’s Deck beckons. If the series goes 7 games, I’ll need cardiac care for sure.

It was hard to find close-ups of Lackey, Paul. Maybe he doesn’t like to be photographed except on the mound. Or were you referring to the picture of the toad?

Thank you for thinking I’m really intelligent, Jeff. That’s the sweetest thing you’ve said in months. :) Do I believe in astrology? Not in terms of specific predictions, but I do think the signs match personality types. And yeah, Lackey will be nasty.

So glad you discovered the blog, hrcoyankeefan. It’s great to “meet” another displaced fan of the Bombers. So you think the Phillies will lose to the Dodgers? Interesting. I’d love to travel with you to the parade (if it happens – knocking on wood right now). Let’s see what happens and organize a She-Fan Event!

Yup, Hudler was a Yankee, Dave. Briefly. I get the Angels broadcasts out here and he occasionally reminisces about his time in pinstripes (in between handing out inventive nicknames for players). As for the weather, CA is getting hammered right now so the east coast will probably get our system by the weekend. That could really screw things up for the rotation. I guess that means Gaudin?

Jane,

I forgot to say my name in my post. It’s Laurie.

I also wonder if I am the only person in the world who does this: I have MLB In Demand but half the time the brodcast feed is from the other team, in which case, I mute the TV and listen to the WCBS brodcast at the same time. Am I desperate and obsessed or what?

My husband says he’ll go to the parade with me – he went to the Rockies game with me – but it would be more fun to be with women who’ve got the Yankee bug. We will have to move quickly as the parade may be the next day.

Laurie

Oh Jane.. Henry’s lip quiver is classic! And not only does he sound like Ray Romano.. he looks like him with that camera angle. Scary. Best of Luck.. I’m still rooting for a rematch of ’78 : )

Buz – http://buzblog.mlblogs.com/

Jane, awesome entry (as usual)! Hahaha, it made me laugh to see that definition :) I’m definitely thinking about jumping on the Yankees band-wagon, I’ll be rooting for them the next game! :] xoxo http://diamondgirl55.mlblogs.com

Oh, good, Laurie. Now I don’t have to use the initials! No, you’re not the only person who mutes the broadcast feed and listens to John and Suzyn. Not by a long shot! I’m not banking on the parade until the Yankees win, so you might have to take your husband after all. He sounds like a good sport!

I’m rooting for the rematch too, Buz. But both our teams have their work cut out for them.

Yay! Thanks for throwing your support to the Yankees, diamondgirl! We need you. And hopefully we’ll reward you by moving on to the WS!

That voice just doesn’t seem right for that face. Weird! And when that nasty photo that leads off your post first popped into my browser, my initial thought was “Ecch! An adult who still gets pimples.” Poor thing. Anyway, I’m still working on “manifesting” our guys to the final showdown (though we each have different guys), hope you’re doing the same :-) !
Sue
Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

Alright, alright, I can finally bring myself to say it: congratulations, New York. The better team won that series. And good luck against the Angels, I guess.-Erinhttp://plunking-gomez.blogspot.com

Jane
First- IS IT FRIDAY YET???
Second- who DOESNT turn off local broadcasters (or ESPN or TBS) and listen to John and Suzyn?? After Joe Morgan kept calling Swish a “cheater” time and time again after he (allegedly) left second early on a long fly ball, and didn’t apologize after replays showed he, in fact, DID NOT leave early, I have no use for Old Joe.
Third-your thoughts on the three man rotation for the ALDS??
Lastly-seriously. IS IT FRIDAY YET?
Wendy

Jane, I don’t know what’s funnier, your entry or your responses!! My Dad coulldn’t figure out what I was laughing at since I’ve been sick and not finding much humor in that. He reminds me when the Yankees are playing. He also worries about the rain in Santa Barbara. At least this is the last day of the rains. Tomorrow a sunny 86 degrees for the first game against the Phillies. Strange weather in California.
Good luck to your Yankees.
http://catlovesthedodgers.mlblogs.com

And, Welcome to the group, Laurie!
Wendy

You bring up a good point, Sue. What if we both “manifest” our teams at the same time? Will the playoffs be determined by which of us manifests more? LOL. I guess the players themselves will have something to do with the outcome. :)

There you are, Erin. So glad you’re back and not holding a grudge! You know as well as I do that anything can happen in a short series. Pavano pitched great in that last game, and if A-Rod hadn’t hit the homer, who knows what would have happened. Say goodbye to the Metrodome for me.

Hahaha, Wendy. No, it’s not Friday yet, but I feel your impatience. All this waiting is not good for us! I remember when Morgan had his “cheater” tirade about Swisher. Ugh. And now we have Fox coming up for the ALCS. Talk about wanting to mute the TV. As for the three-man rotation, I’m all for it, but I sure wish we had a battle tested #4 starter. Gaudin has been a nice surprise for us, but do I really feel comfortable with him on the mound in the playoffs? (Shakes head.)

Cat, so sorry you’ve been sick. I hope you feel better and will be able to go to tomorrow’s game. The Dodgers wouldn’t be the same without you there cheering for them. It’s still raining up here, but they say it’ll clear up tonight. I know the rain is good for us, but it sure is dreary.

His temper will stop once the O’s sign him, he’ll get the 3E1N virus and he’ll be cured of his temper!

Another night without baseball! It’s hard to take.
The weirdest thing about the playoffs for me was seeing Donnie Baseball in a Dodgers uniform. Just didn’t seem right.
Melissa

Once he’s an Oriole, he will definitely control his temper, Jordan. All he’ll need is a taste of Boog’s Barbecue and he’ll be a sweetheart.

Melissa, this waiting is so annoying. But at least the Dodgers play tomorrow night. I agree about the conflict of seeing Donnie in that uniform. It’s almost weirder than seeing Torre in it. I’m happy for him that he’s doing what he loves, but he’ll always be a Yankee to me.

Jane and Melissa, we love Donnie Baseball. I actually think that he and Joe look quite nice in Dodger apparel. If not Yankees, they might as well be Dodgers.
http://catlovesthedodgers.mlblogs.com

I second that, Cat. If Joe and Donnie can’t be Yankees, they might as well be Dodgers!

Now I feel sorry for the poor toddler…of course he was having a tantrum, who wouldn’t promised a day at a topless beach and look what he got…LOL…
~peter
Outside the Phillies Looking In
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

Jane you mite be careful if you go to the Angle games, I hear Lacky’s wife, a good ole Texas gal, dosen’t take kindly to making fun of he husband. I hear she never wears shoes when around Lackey, so she will not appear taller than him. I also hear that during her time as Roller Durby Queen she used to open beer bottles with her teeth. You might want to keep a look out, she may be roaming the park looking for blonds in Yankee gear. Enjoy the game!

I’m glad the Dodger fans appreciate Donnie and Joe. Seeing Mattingly in Dodger blue is so weird, just as weird as if Cal Ripken Jr. wore a Yankees uniform. And it would be sort of the same thing – we Yankee fans would love him, but he would always be an Oriole.
Unlike a certain pitcher the Yankees had for several years, who I always referred to as “that Red Sock.”
Melissa

LOL, Peter. I felt sorry for the toddler too, but I figured he just needed a nap! He was some crier though, wasn’t he?

I will definitely be on my guard for Lackey’s wife, wetfeet. I’ll duck if I see her coming.

Which pitcher, Melissa? I’m guessing you mean Clemens, but for some reason my brain landed on Sparky Lyle and Tom Gordon too.

Yes, Clemens. He always seemed like a Red Sock to me, never a Yankee.
Melissa

Thanks for clearing it up, Melissa. I figured as much. I didn’t see him as a Yankee until his second (brief) tour of duty as a Yankee. And even then I thought of him as an Astro!

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