Well, that was a relief.
Still, I wouldn’t call the Yankees’ 13-6 victory over Boston a well-played game. Not when our pitchers walked TWELVE batters…when Joba had his worst start since the break…when Posada inexplicably trotted home instead of sliding. But the offense pummeled Smoltz and Traber, and their effort put the Yanks up by 3 1/2 in the division. It was an honest-to-goodness drubbing – the kind of game where you can sit back and just enjoy the show. I had to leave the house after the fifth to teach my writing workshop, but I watched the rest when I got home. It was late by the time I saw Vicky Martinez make the final out, but it was worth staying up for. Beating the Red Sox is delicious, any way it happens.
Now it’s on to Friday night with AJ facing Josh Beckett. Clearly, Beckett isn’t Smoltz. We’ll be facing a pitcher who isn’t on the verge of retirement (or should be). So how can we beat him and take two in a row in this series? Once again, I went to the videotape for answers.
#1) Obviously, Josh Beckett likes jewelry. That watch is the size of my head. But it’s his Phiten titanium necklace (Joba wears one too, and look how that worked out) that gives him a sense of health, energy and well-being. If I’m the Yankees, I steal Beckett’s necklace before the game. He’ll be convinced he’s lost his magic power and possibly freak out.
#2) He said, speaking of his health: “The last time I was a hundred percent, I was sixteen years old.” That would suggest he has a few aches and pains – not a surprise given how knock-kneed he is. If I’m the Yankees, I not only make him throw a lot of pitches but bunt early and often, forcing him to bend over.
#3) As for the Papelbon part of the video, if he comes in to pitch I would simply show him a picture of himself with his celebrity look-alike and wait for him to implode.
Speaking of look-alikes, I hear David Ortiz is having a press conference on Saturday with Peter Gammons standing by to report. Will Ian McKellen play Gammons in the movie version?