It’s late – nearly 11:30 p.m. on the west coast – and Yankees-Rangers just ended, thanks to the two-and-a-half hour rain delay. Or should I say the hail delay?
I should have known the Yankees would lose this one. That’s just how things were going today.
For starters, I was making plane reservations for my trip to New York next month, and Delta and American Express mixed up the name on my ticket, causing me to spend literally hours on the phone trying to straighten everything out.
Next on my **** list was Apple. I was told by two customer service people that the dead battery inside my MacBook Pro would be replaced by a new one – under my warranty. But when it came time to hand it over? “It’s not covered. You have to buy it.” Oh, yeah?
Then I found out my car insurance was going up because of some new California tax and -
Suffice it to say, I was in a crummy mood by game time and hoped the Yanks would lift my spirits.
Hardly. They lost 7-3. What happened?
Joba had nothing.
Melky got hurt.
Aceves wasn’t good.
Neither was Coke.
Swisher and Damon grounded into DPs.
The Yankees left a ton of runners on base.
Sure, there were a few positives. A-Rod made a great play tagging out Kinsler at third; his hip looked just fine. Gardner, who took over for Melky, had three hits and stole three bases. And Tex homered again.
But mostly, it was like watching a lesson in futility. (Question for Girardi: If you’ve got Wang in the pen, why not use him?)
There were lighthearted moments. I was stuck with the Rangers’ Fox Sports Net announcers, and they turned out to be unintentionally hilarious.
Josh: “People say this team is error-prone, but errors are really subjective and don’t mean much.”
Tom: “Right. You can be a great guy and make a lot of errors. There’s a lot to be said for that.”
Or this, as Swisher steps up to bat….
Josh (completely serious): “They’re pitching carefully to Swisher with the number nine hitter coming up.”
Or this, after Davis strikes out for the millionth time…
Josh: “Contact continues to be the issue for him.”
How about this, as Vizquel walks to the plate…
Josh: “Good game for him tonight. He’s 0 for 3.”
Or this, as Cervelli stands in…
Josh: “He has a hit tonight. Otherwise, he’s 0 for 2.”
And my favorite of all, even better than Josh’s comment about A-Rod’s “clandestine canoodling with Madonna”…
Tom: “The Yankees’ runaway spending hasn’t gotten them anywhere.”
Josh: “Yeah. They’re like having the most expensive wedding cake ever but without a fork.”
Tom: “Although they’ve won twenty-six championships.”
Josh: “And the Rangers are still waiting for their first one.”
Even with the loss, it turned out to be a pretty fun evening.