I kept dinner simple tonight, so I could watch Larry King interview Joe Torre and not get food all over myself. The menu, therefore, was this.
I turned on the TV and sat across the table from my husband Michael. I was eager to hear what Joe would say about The Book.
To set up the interview, Larry showed the audience a picture of himself at Yankee Stadium last year and explained that it had been a very windy day.
He introduced Joe, who said what every guest says: “It’s great to be here, Larry.”
Larry explained that they would be fielding questions not only from callers and e-mailers around the country, but also from fans gathered at Mickey Mantle’s restaurant in New York
and Barney’s Beanery in Los Angeles.
Since most people have already seen the show or read accounts of it, I’ll just offer my favorite moments.
Larry: Boomer Wells calls you a punk for breaking that code. Are you hurt by that?
Me: I’d be hurt if Boomer called me a punk.
Michael: I’d be afraid if he called me anything. He’s a big guy.
Larry: What do you think about A-Rod and Madonna and all that? I know it was after you left, but does it surprise you?
Joe: Sure, it surprised me. And I feel bad for him.
Me: He feels bad for A-Rod because he has two young children?
Michael: Or because he thinks Madonna is skanky.
Comment from a male patron at Mickey Mantle‘s: Joe, seeing you is like seeing an uncle I’m not supposed to talk to anymore, because he divorced my aunt. I’m confused and sad.
Me: If he picked up the phone and called that uncle, he wouldn’t be confused and sad.
Michael: Pass the Parmesan cheese.
Question from a female patron at Mickey Mantle’s: Did you sign any sort of pre-nup with the Dodgers before you started with them or maybe since the book has come out?
Joe: Uh, as far as what?
Me: A pre-nup. She’s kidding, right?
Michael: I guess she’s never been married.
E-mail from a male in New Jersey: Should you be fortunate enough to play the Yankees in the World Series and come up to A-Rod during the first game, what would you say to him?
Joe: Unless I’m completely off base, I think there would be a hug involved.
Me: (Laughing uncontrollably)
Michael: Are you choking?
Me: No. I just don’t see the hug happening.
Larry: Did you expect the book to shock people?
Joe: No. To me, this book is going to be a piece of history.
Me/Michael at the same time: Does he think he’s winning a Pulitzer?
Caller from New York: What would you say to Yankee fans who might say you turned your back on an organization that provided you with so much fame and fortune?
Joe: Well, I hope that’s not the case.
Me: Wouldn’t he know if that’s the case?
Michael: He’s good at ducking stuff. He’d probably make an effective politician.
Question from a female patron at Mickey Mantle’s: I’m a big Yankee fan. All of us here are very ardent. And we’re involved in all the ins and outs of everything that goes on with the Yankees. How do you find the Dodgers fans compare?
Joe: The Yankee fans in New York were about as special as any fan that’s ever been around.
Me: What’s this “were?” We still are special, with or without him.
Michael: Don’t take this personally.
Me: I take everything personally. You know that.
Michael: Then maybe I shouldn’t say this.
Michael: The pasta’s cold and rubbery, and the sauce tastes like a salt lick.
Me: Oh, really. Well, I was busy blogging all day. I didn’t have time to fly off to Italy and hunt down the homemade stuff from some Mama Mia in Naples.
Michael: I’m just saying.
Me: That I should stop blogging?
Michael: No. I like reading your blog.
Me: But you never leave a comment.
Michael: I’m your husband. It would be weird.
Me: You could have a cool screen name. Like YanksGuy or BomberBoy. Maybe even your own blog.
Michael: What would I blog about?
Me: Same thing the rest of us blog about.
Michael: Nothing, in other words.
Me: Yes. Exactly.