Word is that Mike Mussina will make his decision any day about whether to retire or return to the Yankees (assuming his free agent filing is just a formality). So what will he do? Sign up for another season or three in the Bronx or kick back in his quaint hometown of Montoursville, PA? Such a cliffhanger, isn’t it?
Let’s look at the decision from his perspective.
He could choose the grind of those long, long seasons on the road and the chance to win 300 games, insuring his HOF entry. OR he could choose to stay home. What would he actually do in Montoursville, population 5,000?
He could become a Montoursville counsel member and attend monthly meetings here.
Or he could go trout fishing here on Loyalsock Creek. Very “Andy Griffith Show,” isn’t it?
He could take his kids to Fun Land for some hay rides and miniature golf.
He could shoot hoops with fellow Montoursville celebrity Kelly Mazzante. (I know nothing about the WNBA, but supposedly she’s a star with the Phoenix Mercury.)
He could do a lot of shopping, because Montoursville has one of these.
If it’s his wife’s birthday, he could run over to the local florist, whose name is the improbable Wally Wentz, according to the chamber of commerce.
He could fly a little Cessna around, thanks to the local facility minutes from his house.
He could get in touch with his feminine side and stop by Our Gathering Place, where they carry over 4,000 bolts of fabric and make these.
And if he’s hungry? No problem. There’s the local family favorite.
They serve this and don’t ask me what it is. (It could be a deer burger. Seriously.)
Or he could mosey over to Montoursville’s own Family Wok Restaurant for some Chinese.
I’m sure I’m only scratching the surface of all the excitement Montoursville has to offer, but I know what I would do if I were in Moose’s spikes.